BREAKING NEWS: Sister Wives’ Kody Brown Recalls ‘Devastating’ College Romance to Woman Whom He Lost His Virginity .giang

Kody Brown is looking back on his romantic past.

Following a fun-filled (and almost risky) 4-wheeler date with his remaining wife Robyn, the Brown family patriarch, 55, reflected on the demise of his marriages to Janelle, Meri and Christine on this week’s episode of Sister Wives. That period of reflection led Kody to think about a romantic fling he had before entering polygamy.

“You want to know the craziest thing? I had a lover in college, and it was a little tryst,” Kody told the cameras. “I was a naughty boy based on my faith. I had a relationship in college where I lost my virginity.”

Of that experience, Kody admitted that “it was devastating to me.”

“It was heartbreaking,” he continued. “When purity is everything in the church I was in, that was everything. It’s like you’re working your way back for it.”

“It was devastating, but nobody knew except for Meri and Robyn,” he added. “It was really because I don’t believe I ever got intimate enough with Christine and Janelle to tell them.”

Elsewhere in the episode, Kody candidly spoke with Robyn, 46, about his now-dissolved relationships. His third wife Christine, 52, was the first to leave the family’s polygamous agreement in 2021, followed by Janelle, 55, and Meri, 53, months after.

Because Robyn is still keen on her husband reconciling with Janelle, in particular, since Christine has moved on with now-husband David Woolley and Meri chose to move on after waiting on Kody for years, Kody asked Robyn to “stop pushing this” idea of reconciliation with Janelle (who is happily single) on him.

“I probably would have moved on from Meri a lot sooner, but Robyn was constantly encouraging that relationship,” he then said in a confessional.

“She told me that I needed to go and sleep on Christine’s couch when Christine kicked me out of the house. And I was like, ‘No way, I’m not doing that,'” he continued. “When I had the fight with Janelle, she was saying ‘Please, please.’ She was begging me not to fight with Janelle.”

From an outsider’s perspective, Janelle told the cameras she had “no idea what Robyn was pushing Kody to do,” but she thinks “it’s a shame if Kody could be that controlled by Robyn that he would try to stay in a relationship, you know, that wasn’t working.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.  

Sister Wives airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.